Remedy

Catch me; I think I might break
I'm falling to my darkest time
There's no remedy to save me
No feelings to arouse me
I want to tell you how I feel
But you'll never understand
You'll never kiss me like I need
I can pray a thousand times
Just to control my savage heart
But I'll always hear the echo
Of a thousand endless beatings
I want to understand
I want to tell you how I feel
But when I wake up
I'm afraid I'll be alone again
You're all around me telling me
"Everything is going to be fine"
But I wish that I was dead
I wish I didn't have to feel this way
I wish I didn't have to make myself
To an unnatural high
Just to spill my blood and truth
Will you still be here when I'm all alone?
Am I still going to be a massacre
When I end my grungy nightmare?
Am I really what you thought I was?
Do you want the best version of me
Or do you want me?