Late Night Thinking: Stability

I found that over the years of learning about myself that I dread the nights in my bed the most. The nights that I am sober-minded and lonely to every insecurity that my mind has to offer. I find that I am my own worst enemy and that my mind is a slow-eating parasite. I wonder all the time what it would be like to actually be alone with no one and how my mind would adjust. If I was the last person on earth, just like my mind seems to imply at times, would I be dreaming of having someone, or would I just be so used to the feeling of loneliness that I would not need anyone else? I question my strength and what life is about. If life is about living for yourself, then how I am to go on with myself when I can't surpass a day without the constant anxiety eating at my heart strings? When people tell me that I am a strong person, and the times where I call myself a strong person, I seem to second guess my confidence and self-reliance when I lay in bed at night. I remind myself of the things I've done wrong, and the things that the future holds. I remind myself of the people who have left me, and I cling to the things that I wish I had. How strong am I? Am I as strong as I put myself out to be and how other people perceive me? Or am I just as much of a follower of this mind set that I am strong to a degree of vulnerability? We, as people, rely on others just as much as we rely on the breaths we take. Would our minds consume us in our solitary ways or would things be seemingly okay because we have learned that behavior? But the thing I question the most about myself is where I would be without the influence of urban society and what our true needs are in this world. What is the borderline of our physical bodily needs to the needs of our minds?